God Bless The "Touchy-Feelies"!

Three or four weeks ago I wrote about how much fun Internet talk strings can be. Following is a great example of what I meant. On the talk string for economist Thomas Sowell's columnn at TownHall, a poster named "Pjal" posted the following screed. It is humorous, sad, and true all at the same time.

Having graduated high school in 1962, I was there and can testify that Pjal (not Algore) has told the "Inconvenient Truth." Way to go, Pjal!

"Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1950 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock-down, and FB I is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1950 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Students are afforded grief counseling for several weeks.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1950 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin.

Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from State because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1950 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark has a headache and brings some aspirin to school.

1950 - Mark takes aspirin in lunchroom and headache goes away.

2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

 Scenario: Pedro fails English in high school.

1950 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he still cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a fire ant hill.

1950 - Ants die.

2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on Terror Watch List and is never allowed to fly again.

SPCA sends grief counselor to Johnny's school

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher who hugs him to comfort him.

1950 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Teacher is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy."

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