The Ballad of Bill O'Reilly

Fox talking head and successful author, Bill "No Spin Zone" O'Reilly, was on Fox and Friends today, being interviewed about his latest book. It was an interesting interview. I was impressed by how much taller Bill is than Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade.

I've never really cared for O'Reilly's personality, which I consider to be too arrogant, too abrasive, too pompous, and too control freakish.

Years ago when I, along with everyone else, was first learning how to use computer technology and people like Steve Doocy and Sean Hannity would actually personally answer the few emails they received, O'Reilly was asking his audience to send in "pithy" comments for possible use on his TV talk show. According to O'Reilly, if your comment was sufficiently pithy to be used on the air, he would send you an autographed copy of his first (I think) book at the time. Well, I wrote a limerick in "honor" of his alleged sexual harrassment problems. I thought is was hilarious, but apparently Billy Boy failed to see the humor in it. Not only did he not send me the autographed copy of the book he promised, but he didn't even bother to respond. No problemo, and no hard feelings.

The internet is the great equalizer. It allows little "nobody" country-mouse yokels like me to poke fun at the hypocrisy and self-importance of big "stars" like O'Reilly. Now that I've learned how to place pictures in my blogs, it seemed like a good time to resurrect my limerick, "The Ballad of Bill O'Reilly". You be the judge of whether or not it's "pithy" enough!

P.S. Attention socialists (aka "liberals"): just because I'm not a Bill O'Reilly fan doesn't mean I'm in favor of steal-and-redistribute socialism.


There once was a man named O’Reilly
Who thought of himself far too highly.
With agendas his own
Spun as “The No-Spin Zone,”
You can see that Bill thinks he’s quite wiley!

Now, O’Reilly liked sex on the phone
With women who were not his own.
His talk was so sordid
It got tape recorded,
And Bill found he’d stepped on his bone!

Then there was sweet young Andrea
"Mackris" was her sir name they say.  A
Producer by trade,
She disliked Bill’s tirade
So she prayed to the prophet Isaiah.

Her prayers touched a lawyer Morelli
Who spotted Bill’s soft underbelly.
Sixty million he wanted,
A lawsuit he flaunted.
The whole thing does seem sort of smelly!

Then, lastly a blogger named Drudge
Who, as intrepid exposer of sludge,
Broke the story so gory
It made Billy sorry
He’d ever “false-smoked-crack” Matt Drudge!

O’Reilly could not get much rest,
As Morelli went on his shark’s quest
For more women to squeal
That Bill “copped a feel,”
While Drudge, laughing last, laugheth best!

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